Hannah Jackson: Lawns Aren't Beautiful, They're a Surrender to the French

The purpose of the great American lawn is not to provide food, shelter, or any sort of environmental benefit. No, the grassy expanses that grace every good home exist solely to provide an ego boost. The lawn is a testament to man’s dominion over nature and the wealth amassed by those lucky enough to tend to one. In truth, the grass lawn does more harm than good both mentally, philosophically, and even patriotically.

Deconstructed, the idea that meticulous care for a patch of useless grass should determine your social status and respect among neighbors sounds like an absurd ritual of time past. But like the block party and PTA, the lawn persists in suburbia despite the obvious damage it does to everyone in the surrounding area. There’s no shortage of stories of celebrities and the ultra-rich violating drought restrictions to keep their estates lush in areas that were never meant to support such things, but it seems rare that anyone asks why we got ourselves into this situation in the first place and what the alternatives could be.

The "why" is decidedly un-American. Lawns began as a status symbol of the 16th-century French elites who wanted to show off how much extra money and time they had to care about something as fickle and useless as grass. The lawn was imported from the British as a style choice at the same time we were dumping their tea into the harbor. And this treasonous act was carried out by the very men leading the revolution; namely George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. In fact, George Washington’s intensely British landscape that he built around Mt. Vernon was one of the driving forces in convincing us all that the lawn should be a mainstay of American agriculture and popular culture alike.

But it was really the boom of suburbia that brought the lawn from an idyllic feature to a “must-have” on House Hunters. As privacy dwindled and status became flexible, one could no longer rely on a family name and carefully timed public appearances to cement their place in the social order. Instead, conformity reigned. Whoever could max out the scale without deviating from the acceptable list of extravagances would win the game and get to live knowing they were marginally more well off than any of the surrounding houses. The lawn became an easy way to assert this dominance. Just as the French nobles had discovered, having the time and ability to care for a useless scrap of grass just because it looks nice is the ultimate showing of power and wealth. Never mind the victory gardens providing food, the new hot thing was getting absolutely nothing tangible out of all the resources spent on landscaping.

As is the way with most poor environmental choices, a thriving industry of labor and products grew where nothing else would. Carcinogenic weed killers, exploitative landscaping companies, and gallons of water wasted all in the pursuit of that great Anglo-Franco-American dream.

This industry would have us believe there is no other way, nor has there ever been another way. Round-Up thrives on the perception that to have a lawn and to be a successful American homeowner are on in the same. But there are other options. Moss is an excellent absorber of CO2 and produces far more oxygen than grass all while being much easier to take care of. Certain types of ivy and herbs can similarly provide soft and attractive groundcover without the life-ruining levels of maintenance that a lawn in Las Vegas can demand.

There is another benefit to abandoning lawns in favor of landscaping with the environment. And it’s not just the opportunity to stick it to the French. Being mindful of the impact our outdoor spaces have on the rest of the planet and ourselves has the potential to create places we actually want to be. Places where we aren’t obsessing over the exact length of each blade of grass or whether a kid is having too much fun and digging up fertilizer potent enough to stunt his IQ at 7. Freeing up all that money and time that would be spent fretting over the grass like it’s an abusive boyfriend can now be spent not caring what the neighbors think and focusing on enjoying this Earth and everything it has to offer. Time made even more enjoyable by the knowledge that it will be around just a little bit longer thanks to our final realization that grass isn’t worth the air we breathe or water we drink.